ACOA and AA

I watched Bill W.'s Story yesterday, and while it wasn't very deep, it did have one good message - that we go to meetings not to fix each other, but for ourselves. A's need other A's to keep from drinking. ACOA's need other ACOA's to talk, trust, and feel. We do it together because we all didn't have this in our families of origin. These three things are something we have to practice as much as possible, and ACOA gives us a safe place to do that. Without practice, we will tend to go back to old survival patterns of denial, frozen feelings, and secrecy. It is important for us to be honest with ourselves, and that requires trust. If we cannot trust ourselves, we cannot feel our feelings. It is simply to terrifying to do what wasn't acceptable as children. Our parents told us they were wrong, and we also came to accept that it was fruitless to feel our feelings. We were overwhelmed by them. Survival is not much different that being a robot. We did what was necessary. In recovery we can find support to feel our feelings, which opens us up to change.