Recovery is not easy. We come to recovery because we are in pain. Many of us do not believe in a benevolent God. It is easier to think no one helped us, than to think we were abandoned by God too! I was an extreme agnostic. I felt that a supernatural power was possible, but just avoided the issue. I figured if one did exist, it sure didn't help me any. Then came recovery. I didn't like saying Lord's Prayer, and I certainly didn't want to give my power over to God even if He existed. It is not easy to feel feelings when I spent so many years avoiding them. Who wants to revisit painful memories? But recovery rooms gave me chance to feel because I learned to trust the people there. THey trusted me, so I learned trust was possible. Becoming vulnerable opened my heart. After letting go of the pain, I found there was room for God. I spent many years avoiding myself. By taking the time and energy to look inside, I found I wasn't such a bad person afterall. I found that I was worthy of God's love, and He had shown it in the people who helped me heal.